Found out yesterday from a very painful and slightly traumatic trip to the OBGYN (unfortunately I experienced some PTSD during my Pap smear) that the reason I’ve been having painful sex for a few years is because my uterus is positioned incorrectly and I may have cysts in my uterus or ovaries. My Dr was worried because of my level of pain (I was crying like fuck) and scheduled me for an ultrasound to check everything out.
She said it could potentially affect my fertility.. I always say how much I don’t want kids but damn just knowing there’s a slight possibility my chances are lessened of actually getting pregnant one day is scary as hell. She said if I don’t have any cysts, there’s nothing they can do about the position of my uterus and I will have to take 800 mg of Ibuprofen before I have sex… every time. And she said it will only help “ease the pain”…. honestly idk what’s worse, the possibility of cysts or the possibility that I may never enjoy penetration (that deep at least.. ) ever again.
I hate this. Makes me not want to have sex with any men because I’m worried about fucking up my insides even more. I’m also just scared to go back cause the entire process hurt like hell and it felt like I was being tortured - there’s nothing more vulnerable to me than my legs being held up by stirrups as a stranger pokes sharp objects inside me and quite literally SCRAPES my insides as I nearly scream from the pain.
